Is Mum being looked after? What would you do?

Marion is eighty years of age. Her husband Walter died two years ago and Marion moved in with her married daughter, Sally and her husband, but kept the family home as she wanted to ‘keep the memories’ of Walter and what she saw as a simpler and happier time in her life.

The family home is rented along with a property in Queensland, which is also rented, the rental monies are placed in Marion’s bank account.

In addition to her married daughter Sally, Marion also has a son, Charles.

Two years ago, Sally expressed concern that if Marion became ill she would not have a Power of Attorney to enable the family to assist her. Consequently, Sally took Marion to a lawyer, and two Powers of Attorney were prepared: one for Marion’s financial affairs, the other concerning medical issues.

Sally is the sole attorney in each case. Charles was not considered as he was constantly travelling overseas as a result of his job.

As a consequence of Marion’s illness, she moved into Sally’s family home and has been living with Sally and her husband. Sally’s two children are adults, both married and living interstate.

Charles has since changed jobs, does not travel and spends at least one day each week with Marion. They have coffee and a chat or visit friends and relatives.

Since settling back into a regular pattern of life Charles has become concerned with a number of matters concerning the way his sister, Sally, is handling Marion’s affairs. He is also concerned that Marion seemed to be very forgetful, absent-minded and often repeats conversations that had occurred earlier, with no apparent awareness that she was repeating herself. His concerns are as follows:

• Marion had a car which she bought some five years ago, but in recent years had realised she can no longer drive, so the car had been sitting in the garage of the family home. Sally recently had Marion’s car fully serviced, and paid for out of Marion’s bank account. Sally then traded both cars and bought a new Mercedes which is registered in her name. The difference between the tradein value of the cars and the new car was paid for from Marion’s bank account. Sally argued that as she was required to take Marion to various appointments and friends she needed a reliable vehicle.

• Sally has an adult daughter who has been living in the Queensland property rent free on the authority of Sally for approximately 12 months. It is her intention to remain in the house until she and her husband have saved sufficient funds to purchase their own home.

• Sally has recently arranged for her best-friend’s brother to live rent-free in what was Marion’s family home. He had recently been divorced and was looking for accommodation. Sally argues that this is a short-term arrangement and was something she could do for a very close friend, who was also known to Marion,

Charles cautiously raised these matters with Sally who became very angry and told Charles that she was responsible for the welfare of their mother. When pressed about Charles’ concerns relating to Marion’s forgetfulness, Sally admitted that Marion had been diagnosed as being in the early stages of dementia and was probably not fully aware of the actions Sally had taken.

Sally stated defensively that she was acting as her mother would have done, that she was being totally responsible in looking after her mother’s affairs and took offense at Charles’ imputations that she was somehow acting inappropriately. The relationship between Sally and Charles has deteriorated to the stage where Sally will leave the house when Charles comes to collect Marion for their day out. She refuses to discuss anything with Charles.

An additional matter concerning Charles was that when Walter died Sally had cleaned the family home prior to Marion moving in with her. In cleaning up, Sally found a box which had been hidden by Walter which contained a large amount of cash. At the time of finding the cash Sally had advised Charles that she thought there was ‘in excess of $50,000’ in the box.

In the last discussion with Sally before the relationship broke down Charles asked Sally to confirm how much she had found in Walter’s hidden cash box and was told that she had initially made a mistake. The amount was ‘around $20,000’ which she placed in Marion’s bank account

Charles was aware that last year Sally and her husband paid for a lavish wedding for their eldest daughter in Queensland and is concerned that she may have paid for it from Walter’s cash box.

Charles is anxious to obtain a statement of Marion’s bank account to check what withdrawals have been made over the last year or so, however, the Bank have refused his request as he has no authority. He is not prepared to ask Marion to get a copy as that may cause a further rift with Sally and he does not want to do that.

Charles is concerned that Sally may be taking advantage of Marion’s age and failing health and is seeking advice as to what he might do. He says his relationship with Sally had now broken down so badly there was no communication between them whatsoever.

Should Charles be concerned?

What would you do?